WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT. A GIANT CLOUD IN THE SHAPE OF SATAN’S GRINNING FACE, WITH DOLLAR SIGNS FOR EYEBALLS, BLOCKING OUT THE SUN.

KIM AND KANYE MUST BE EXPECTING A BABY.

OH, I’M SORRY, LARRY. I THOUGHT THE POINT OF GETTING A HOTEL WITH DELICIOUS BREAKFAST SERVICE, SOME HOT TUBS AND A NICE LITTLE POOL WAS TO USE THOSE AMENITIES TO INCREASE OUR ENJOYMENT SINCE THEY’RE INCLUDED IN THE RENTAL PRICE. FUN DOESN’T COST EXTRA. I DIDN’T REALIZE CHECKING YOUR EMAIL 200 TIMES WAS YOUR IDEA OF A GOOD VACATION OR I’D HAVE JUST BOOKED US A TABLE AT THE COFFEESHOP BY OUR HOUSE.

I’M SERIOUS. STOP TEXTING AND FROLIC WITH ME BEFORE I STRANGLE YOU.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING? AND STOP MAKING THAT NOISE! ACCORDING TO THE NEW ISSUE OF COSMO THIS IS SUPPOSED TO ADD A “FUN AND FLIRTY” DIMENSION TO OUR “LACKLUSTER LIBIDO” DEPARTMENT! 

STOP LAUGHING! COME BACK HERE AND “EXPERIENCE UNPRECEDENTED INTIMACY” WITH ME!

THERE AIN’T NOTHING GOOD ON TV NO MORE. FALCON CREST, THAT WAS A SHOW. KNOT’S LANDING. GOOD OLD DYNASTY.

WHAT IS THIS SHOW, EVEN? SIXTEEN AND PREGNANT? SHIT, THAT AIN’T IMPRESSIVE. I HAD FOURTEEN KIDS BY THE TIME I WAS FIVE. 

SOMETIMES I REALLY MISS MY GOTH PHASE. JUST THE EYELINER ALONE THESE DAYS IS SO FAR ABOVE AND BEYOND WHAT WE HAD BACK THEN. 

I STILL HAVE SOME BONDAGE BRACELETS IN A SHOEBOX IN MY CLOSET SOMEWHERE.

I SHOULD LOOK UP MY OLD COVEN AND SEE IF THEY WANT TO GO DANCING.